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Miscellaneous
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Miscellaneous
A couple in the middle of a messy divorce case find themselves in court battling over custody of little Johnny, their only child. In order to make a fair decision over the boys future, the Judge takes Johnny into his private chambers so that he can find out which of the parents the boy would prefer to live with.
"Well, Johnny" says the Judge, "Would you like to live with your Mother?"
"No" replied Johnny, "she hits me all the time"
"Well then," the Judge continues, "Would you like to live your your Father?"
"No" replied Johnny again, "He hits me all the time too!"
The Judge looks exasperated and says to the boy "Well Johnny, who would you like to live with?"
"I'd like to live with the NSW football team" the boy replied quickly.
"Why on earth would you want to live with the NSW football team?" replied the now extremely puzzled Judge.
"Well" replied Johnny, "They never beat anyone!!"
Miscellaneous
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Miscellaneous
History Lesson! (Not a joke)
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannonballs near the cannon on war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate with16 round indentations, called a Monkey. But if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.
The solution to the rusting problem was to make Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realise that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that meant something else didn't you?
Miscellaneous
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
Pickup Lines:
I wonder what our children will look like.
Site Summary: The Coldrick Web Site is available to everyone and the content is family orientated. It is a place to slow down, relax and browse. It isn't a fast paced site. To get the most from the site you need to click a few buttons and read the pages or look at the pictures. There are over 2000 jokes which appear randomly at the bottom of most pages, admittedly many are quite lame. We even believe that the lamest joke in the world may be amongst them - see if you can find it. A few jokes may be slightly risque but we don't believe there are any that would be unsuitable for a young audience. There are over 1700 trivia questions which can be browsed using the random trivia page. You may like to play the trivia quiz when you feel you know enough of the answers. The site also contains some information on UFO's (Unidentified Flying Objects) and some interesting paranormal information including voodoo, spontaneous human combustion and psychic powers. You might like to voice your opinion on the questions in the Polls Page, or check the family tree to see if you may be remotely related to the yobbo's who run the site. We assure you that no Eskimos were harmed in the production of these pages. The trivia pages include questions on general knowledge as well as obscurities. Questions include such topics as Aboriginal mythology, actors and actresses, politicians, Television, movies, airports, buildings, countries, addresses, cities, states, body parts, animals, people, astronomy, astrology, books, artists, flowers, chemicals, dinosours, collective names, diseases, inventors, phobias, similes, songs, music, true or false, ghosts, paranormal, ufo's. Sample Questions: What is another name for a Woodchuck? What is the name for a baby otter? Which mammal has oval blood cells? What is the more common name for Trinitrotoluene? What is the nickname for New York? Which country has the motto God is Most Great? What is the study of noses called? What was Jason Donovan's character name in Neighbours? What is heliophobia? Complete the simile - As naked as a…